Pensby Primary School

it's been a very long time since i attended, but my therapist recommended for me to write about my experiences so i figured this would be a good place to do that.

im aware that many of the teachers i had have probably left, but perhaps they could still be there. the entire time i spent at pensby primary school i was completely othered by both the kids and the teachers. my autism and adhd went completely undetected and i struggled heavily with attention and socialising. instead of realising i had issues i got shouted at for things i can't control, and i even had a teacher write a song about how bad my attention span was.

this particular teacher was loved by everybody besides me. he made my life hell and i'm still dealing with the consequences of the way he treated me. he would humiliate me, once displaying something private of mine in front of the whole class (who were all laughing), and didn't even stop after he noticed me hiding under the table balling my eyes out. instead, he blamed me — a 10 year old at the time — for the entire thing. furthermore he'd also accuse me of manipulating his feelings and trying to get away with things with my 'puppy dog eyes', which I completely didn't understand. he would search up all our legal names online and print off pictures of us and keep them in a brown folder. DISGUSTING. this folder was even showed off in assembly and instead of questioning this, the staff (mainly the head mistress at the time) supported it and used it as a method of scaring us away from the Internet. he had a terrible temper and would scream atrociously loud when students were even a little bit naughty, which looking back was absolutely disgusting. no child should be shouted at in such a way. i remember another teacher i had reacting to his screaming once, she seemed disturbed by it but it's clear none of the staff at the school cared enough to make it stop.

another teacher would constantly make me feel small and gross. she was snotty to me, and bullied me everyday. i once had a terrible nosebleed (the school knew i struggled with bad bleeds and i had to be sent home for them frequently) and she refused to help me because she 'didn't like blood'. it's hard to even remember the specifics, but she would belittle me and make me feel small every single day with snide comments and an ignorant attitude towards me, whilst she was lovely and kind to all the other girls. i still remember being 9 years old, lying in the bath and wishing i was dead just so i didn't have to go to school and get bullied by her again the next day.

there was only one teacher we had in the school at the time who was truly caring towards me. she was so gentle and patient with me, i am forever grateful to her for showing me kindness during a time in my life when no one else was.

I have hope that this school has changed, because although my formative years there caused irreparable damage to my mental health and personality, it's still a place i hold close to my heart after spending so many years of my life there.

in my experience of going there when i was younger my time there was horrible, my headteacher used to shout really loudly over small things and used to humiliate me by putting my name on the board to miss break time because i struggled with my work because i did not have enough help, and the head mistress once asked me to go into the after school club which she was not told to by my mum and dad and when my dad came to pick me up from school he was getting really upset because the head mistress would not let me out, and every morning i would have panic attacks throw up and cling on to the banister because i was so scared of my horrible headteacher, my mum and dad took me out of the school when i was eight i am now writing this five years on with an anxiety disorder PTSD and trying my best every day to not kill myself all because of that horrible school!!!!