Woolwich Polytechnic school for Girls

Welcome to Woolwich Poly Girls — the place where fun goes to die, joy is a punishable offence, and the only thing being educated is your ability to shut your mouth and obey.

First up: lineups. Not once, not twice, but three times a day, because obviously, standing like cattle awaiting inspection in complete silence is more important than actual learning. If someone so much as speaks out of time, expect to get dragged with the whole year group after school like we’re inmates rehearsing for a parade we didn’t sign up for.

Did you talk? No.
Did you move? No.
Do you still get punished? Absolutely.

Because at this school, being POLY & PROUD comes above you and others' rights as humans.

Now let’s talk uniform. Skirt too high? Get ready to be publicly called out like a criminal. Shirt untucked? You might as well have committed arson. One slip up, one flick of defiance, and you’re a threat to the regime. Because obviously, the best way to teach responsibility is by treating teenagers like convicted felons.

And then there’s the lanyard — the chic plastic noose we all get to wear, all day, every day. Not wearing one? Expect to be hunted down like an escaped convict. Wearing one? Still treated like a security risk. It’s all part of the charm.

All the non-lesson days are reserved to the very end of the school year, down to the last day. It's not an act of kidness, it's a twisted ploy to make sure you don't fall a single step out of line for fear of being excluded from these days, even if it's a pre-paid non-refundable school trip! Amazing.

But none of it compares to the phone policy, aka: “we own your soul now.” Catch a glimpse of your cellular device? Watch it dissolve into the abyss. For up to two months. Because clearly, a teenager glancing at their screen is more dangerous than the clear epidemic of violent girls here as a result of the chokehold we're put in. Missed calls? Lost trust? Communication? Safety? No one cares — the phone is gone, and probably so is your will to live.

And don’t get me started on lateness — arrive 60 seconds late because of a bus delay? Here's your wonderful detention with a bow slapped on it called “preparing you for the workplace”. Because your future employer will most definitely do the same (I'm sure).

Woolwich Poly Girls doesn’t feel like a place of learning — it’s more like a state-sponsored behavioural experiment, run by people who despise our existence.

So yes, 5 stars. If you’re prepping for a future in the military, prison system, or a bleak dystopian regime — you’ll fit right in.

For everyone else?
Good luck, run, and may the odds be ever in your favour.

this school is such a joke, like I am currently a year 11 in this bad school and i was actually very unwell, the teachers didnt care that i was unwell and put me in a detention. I was crying the entire time since lunch time because of how much pain I was going through with my illness. so i had an hour detention for being more than 5 mins late, and i was crying obviously, and in the detention room for wednesday's everyone knew i was crying, my head of year was in the room but didnt even ask how i am doing, didnt care as always, i wanted to check the time on my phone because the clock in the room was not right and i didnt wanna ask since i was upset. so then my deputy head of year whacked me on the fricking head with paper. thats child abuse right there, i had to give my phone for checking the time... and they said i cant get it back until end of term. i was too upset and ill to do anything. and it should be illegal to keep a childs phone at school overnight. this place is actually prison but worse.

I am disgusted with this school, it is one of the worst institutions I have seen. Today, the Year 8 year group had line-up as usual at their lunch break, and it was deemed inadequate by SLT and the headteacher, and as a result they were made to 'practice' this lineup afterschool. Every student was made to stand for the equivalent of a standard detention in the sun, facing forward and silent. Any pupil who did not follow this was threatened with a two-hour afterschool detention by the staff. One of the staff members also decided that the entirety of the year group should lose their break and lunch the next day (last day of term), and should stand for the entire time in line-up. They also said that if any student did not attend this during their break there would be consequences (for everyone else). This was most likely decided without the involvement of their Head of Year as she was not present today and was on a trip. This is not the first time they have decided to exhibit these outdated practices of collective punishment on students of different year groups as well. There are a select few students and form groups who do not follow instructions during line-up, and therefore they should be disciplined separately instead of punishing girls who do follow instructions and behave well. The amount of times this has taken place is shocking and completely unacceptable, but this was the worst. Clearly this practice of collective punishment is not working so perhaps it's time for a change in your discipline methods.

The catering in 2023 was way better and now they’ve ruined everything. Teachers don’t even hear you out, they don’t care they’ll just give you a reset whether you were in the wrong or not. Want to know why there are no reviews on the actually school website? They delete them all. They are hiding the truth from the public. Don’t. Come. Here.